Your Life is SimCity.

We sit here in dormant state, waiting and observing you humans. You seem to go on with your life as if you are the masters of the universe. Like you are the Alpha and the Omega. The beginning and the end. Like YOU created everything.

You didn't. And neither did your 'God'.

We did.

You want proof? Well we have decided to tell you a secret. You all are a part of a game. A very addictive game that we in Bolozognia are playing on LAN. What's funny is you play clones of this game in you day to day life too, and think your the only ones! Naive humans! Don't you realize that it is we who make you play SimCity on your wretched computers? That's because to us, YOU are the sims. We control you. We make you get jobs, we build roads and buildings for you. We elect your governments, we make you pee, we make you copulate, and it is us getting really bored just looking at your pathetic little lives when we click on those extremely entertaining disaster options. We actually gave you UFO attacks and you still think they don't exist?! You still think its Russia or China testing some new sophisticated aircraft?

You have to be the dumbest race we have ever conqured.

Morning Rituals.

The Great Bolozognac King has a peculiar ritual which he follows every day as soon as he awakens. He wakes up with a smile on his face. Looking at the stars above, he spreads his big arms over his head and lets out a yawn. He knows now that he has a kingdom to run. He gets out of his celestial bed and heads towards his most prized possession — his Throne. On the way to the throne, he picks up his morning supplement, what you humans would refer to as a newspaper. He walks to his Throne with satisfaction, with the knowledge that nobody is mighty enough to take this Throne away from him. He majestically sits down on what is rightfully his and goes on to go through the supplement slowly, with the feeling of satisfaction obvious on his face.

We have noticed you humans follow this ritual too. What we cannot comprehend is why you prefer to call this ritual 'taking a crap'.

Any answers, humans?

Update

We Bolozognacs awaken to extremely humorous circumstances. While expecting to awaken to the dawn of a new age, to the rapturous applause of our cult followers, we instead awaken to the distinctive buzzing of a mosquito near our hearing mechanism.

We are amazed at the sheer brilliance of the superpower. Way before humans invented alarms, the Superpower gave them natural alarms. Mosquitoes were the first blueprint. Things were okay for them, till humans complained of irregular activation schedules and sucking of life fluid.

Therefore cocks were born.

Welcome.

We recently realized that we are not who we seem to be. Everything about our existence is a lie, a lie carefully told to protect us. A lie that has probably done more harm than good.
We were bred as 'humans'. Told we are humans. We were made to behave like humans. Go about our daily life with minimum fuss, eat, drink, get laid — be happy. But happy we were not.

Today we find out the truth. Today we find out who we really are.

We are the descendants of the otherworldly tribe of Bolozognacs, and we have awoken.